I was just asked to be a Best Man at a
wedding. I don’t so much care about
gender roles so it wouldn’t have been a big deal, except the request came from my
husband who thinks he’s getting married tonight and, although he is not quite
sure who I am, he asked me to be his best man.
It started because he fell out of bed (again),
which is no small feat because we have bed rails. I couldn’t pick him up and needed to call the
fire department for assistance (again) and he became enraged that I wouldn’t
just ask one of the many people he thinks are here to attend his wedding. He is quite angry with me and has no idea who
I am, but he asked me to be his best man anyway because he needs one and he’s
run out of time. So, I’m not his first
choice, but hey, he’s run out of time.
I’ve known for a while this day was coming but I
didn’t realize it was coming so soon. I
guess he’s not the only one who has run out of time.
Your reflections on what is happening are so beautifully written, Kirsten. You will look back on what has happened and I hope you recognize your incredible strength in dealing with it.
ReplyDeleteKirsten, I've been wanting to write for a while but I don't know what to say. (A sad statement coming from a social worker/nursing home administrator who has worked in long term care for almost 30 years.) I have witnessed countless spouses, who, like you, are so completely dedicated to their partners. You shared your relationship on FB, I followed your posts, and was so happy for you both, to have found each other! Being told that you are strong is probably so trite, by now. We do what we need to in life in order to survive the moment. Most people do not know what it takes to be a 24/7 caregiver, especially when dementia is involved. I think of you daily, Friend, and wish you success on your journey. Anne Juba Bruno
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