“Obsession” has such a negative connotation. I’ll say, instead, that Gary has developed some “intense interests.” It was one of the first signs that something in his brain had gone haywire.
At first, it was the box office receipts for the movie “Mary Poppins Returns.” We did see “Mary Poppins Returns” (because Lin-Manuel Miranda). It was good and we liked it and that was that. Or so it would seem. Shortly thereafter, however, Gary started giving me daily updates on the box office receipts. It was a little strange at first, and then the daily updates turned into multiple-times-per-day updates and, before long, nearly every conversation we had included some information about the “Mary Poppins Returns” box office receipts (both foreign and domestic).
And then, as quickly as that
interest started, it stopped. Or rather,
it was replaced. By YouTube videos,
which he watched for hours every day.
Strange, unrelated topics, seemingly out of nowhere, now require his
near-constant attention.
Flash mob proposals. Underwater metal detecting. Bagpipes (I'm serious). Don Rickles (worse than bagpipes).
I don’t know why this is even a thing, but for a few weeks, he was intensely interested in airplane safety videos. Hours upon hours of watching stewards and stewardesses point out emergency exits and informing passengers that, in the event of a tragedy, they should put on their oxygen masks first. I don’t know why anyone would film that. Or put it on YouTube. And I certainly don’t know why anyone else would watch it, but we did. For hours upon hours. Upon hours. Emergency exits to the rear. Put your oxygen mask on first.
Currently, his laser-focused
attention has turned to Shim Lim, a magician specializing in card tricks. He is unquestionably talented. But at some point, I’ve seen all the card
tricks I need to see. Upon being introduced
to Lim’s magic, my first thought was, “Hmmm… I wonder how he did that.” Now, hours and hours of card tricks later,
when I see his sleight of hand I think, “Hmmm…. I wish I could get trapped
under the thundering hooves of a stampeding hippo.” I mean, the guy is a pretty amazing magician,
but enough already. Up until a few weeks
ago, I never heard of the man. Today, I’m uniquely qualified to write his biography.
But I know this interest will pass, giving way to the next. And another after that. And another. It’s strangely exhausting, and not knowing what’s around the corner is a little unsettling – I’ve got this never-ending sense of impending doom wondering what’s next.
And at this point, a few years
into this, I don’t think I’d put my
oxygen mask on first.
Comments
Post a Comment