Sleep is my #1 goal at all times. There, I said it. If I found a genie lamp, I would wish for more sleep and world peace. In that order. When I awaken each morning, the first thing I do (after facing the reality that I did not have the great good luck to die in my sleep) is start doing math: how many hours until I can go back to sleep? How many days until the weekend when I can sleep in? Sleep is the always goal.
So you can imagine how delighted I was when Gary awakened me today at 2:36 am. Lately, he's been having paranoid delusions that I'm cheating on him (no small feat when you consider I literally leave the house about 10 times a year). This morning, at 2:36 am, he was all worked up because he thought could hear me showering with my boyfriend. I've learned to avoid the "how could I ever possibly cheat on you" nonsense and try something more practical. Today (at 2:36 am), I started with "Realistically, how would someone get in here without you knowing? You can see the steps from your bed; there is no way someone could get upstairs without you seeing them." Flawless logic, right? "Unless he climbed up the side of the house to the roof and then slid down into a window." As I stood there, exhausted and ready to cry at the overwhelming unsolvable ridiculousness of it all, he added, "And I heard you talking about buying mink oil to use an aphrodisiac so I checked our Amazon account and you bought 106 cases of it." I decided the best way to refute that was to look at our Amazon account together so I trudged upstairs to retrieve a laptop, logged into Amazon, and went downstairs to find him sound asleep.
And, while he was blissfully snoring away, I was unable to get back to sleep. Instead I spent my morning counting how many hours before I could try again.
Comments
Post a Comment